Flesh and Blood Christopher Wynn Recorded June 16th, 1997

(Skip to Table of Contents) The material written and recorded in this collection spans a period of seven years. The earliest song, "Honest", was written in 1990. The most recent piece, "Require", was completed June 1997, the day these songs were recorded. There is naturally a story behind each work. "White Suit Afternoon" was composed after waking up from a vivid dream (I've learned to keep a tape recorder by my bed.) "Emotions in the Room" is a song derived from a stirring love poem that someone wrote to me. This collection is important to me because it documents a journey inside the human experience and the miracles that continue to come out of it. I forced myself to look and examine things within my soul that were frightening and ugly, as well as hopeful. This project is about transcendence... It is about breaking the chains that society uses to paralyze our spirit, and breaking the surface to an essence that is pure and that touches the face of God. It is an evolution from fear into faith. "So I Can Wake Up" is perhaps the most meaningful piece for me in this collection. I think it summarizes the theme well. Life is short... put the darkness to sleep so you can truly wake up. Christopher Wynn 1997

Part I So I Can Wake Up Shelter The Finest Things Normal The Red Song Girl Needy Part II White Suit Afternoon Emotions In the Room Flesh and Blood Beautiful People Require Honest Sticky Some Place to Come Inside So I Can Wake Up Behold the key So should you believe So should you believe This oceans deep Should you keep swimming And hope you believe them I cried for help (My voice was drowning out) I sighed and felt (My soul was gushing out) See look at me I'm crossing on over And breaking the surface My soul is one person And not at your mercy You can't hold me in I'm erupting out And breaking the surface You can't hold me in Tear out the sky I'm springing forth And I won't be denied Smiles, wishes and tears I'll see you there in my... In my sunny whirlpool My life's been fog A cleverly maintained mist My soul's been mute A state of living that I did not suit Roll back the years (Letting go in breezes cool) Churn up the waves (Break up the earth) Cause I'm crossing on over (I'm crossing on over, I'm crossing on over) Put those things to sleep So I can wake up So I can wake up (repeat) Tear out the sky I'm springing forth And I won't be denied Smiles, wishes and tears I'll see you there in my... In my sunny whirlpool Shelter (For M.L.) Be strong Be flawless Like porcelain that cannot break My friend make no mistake You are truly blessed And all of us know why Take two steps at a time When you reach the finish line You'll stop running out of time It's like a stopwatch ticking...tick...tock Time is like water in the well...drip...drop Emotions feed the depths that swell Have you found your shelter? Be pure Be wiser Despite a heart that makes you ache My friend make no mistake You are truly blessed And all of us know why Take three steps at a time Your world is full of signs That the water's turned to wine It's like a stopwatch ticking...tick...tock Time is like water in the well...drip...drop Emotions feed the depths that swell Have you found your shelter? Emotions feed the depths that swell Inside your mind is like the well Run for shelter when you cross that line And all of us know why, all of us know why And all of us know why The Finest Things The boys like the gods play And throw passes all day And I want to be with them Schools out for holiday It's Friday night and time to play And I want to be with them These are the finest things I know The stereos are cranked loud The kids in the street crowd And I want to be with them Looks come and go again The boulevard is lit with-in And I want to be with them These are the finest things I know I'm cramped in the back seat Patrick is speeding And you see us drive by We're on our way to the lake Keep the fire burning We're bringing beer and hot dogs I don't even like the taste of beer But I'll bet they wish they were here Growing up, these are the finest things you know Growing up, these are the finest things you know Growing up, these are the finest things (these are the finest things) These are the finest things (these are the finest things) These are the finest things you know Normal (I wish that I were holding you alone this way) Sometimes, I wish that I were normal I wish that I were boring Instead of being marked from birth I wish that I were all alone And living on an island Where only God could find me And lay beside me in the sand I doubt that it was planned this way There must have been something I did to deserve this I must have been swept away in all those fantasies You could never understand it No one ever looks at you Unless they want you And suddenly they're smiling No one ever walks away Confused and lost What's wrong with him? There must have been something you did to deserve this None of the good boys have anything quite like this You must have been swept away in all that fantasy I'd give it all to be normal And cast away this mark of shame I don't even want to be loved I just want to live and be set free I didn't choose to be dirty And have to live and hide this way I can't bear it when you point and stare And tell me that I'm dirty It must be wonderful To be pure and clean And be touched by God And never have to scream Haven't you seen anything this different Can't you broaden your definition of innocent Can't you get swept away inside your fantasies (I wish that I were holding you alone this way) The Red Song The leaves here in Dallas Don't turn as red as where you're from And people here are busy And don't have the time to watch them turn And all things considered It's not as bad as it may seem Because in the morning The sunlight washes in between The city sleeps in cycles Some woman smiles in the street The air is getting colder Bare limbs admit defeat But your expressions warm me From every corner of my soul If I sent you a message it would read Please...baby please don't go Sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from crying Sometimes you've got to love To keep yourself from lying And though you're afraid of the choices you'll make They can't blame you for trying Like a child feeling restless I search for something new My sister comes and takes my hand She says, I feel it too And it's awfully lonely You could collapse before you're through If I sent you a message it would read Please....baby please stay true Sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from crying Sometimes you've got to love To keep yourself from lying And though you're afraid of the choices you'll make They can't blame you for trying The road tonight is empty I haven't passed a single car The glare of my headlights Can't penetrate the darkness very far And it's awfully lonely You could collapse before you're through If I sent you a message it would read Please...baby we'll pull through Sometimes you've got to laugh to keep from crying Sometimes you've got to love To keep yourself from lying And though you're afraid of the choices you'll make They can't blame you for trying Girl Girl Coming in my mind With your hair in ribbons and bows I want to pull them out Wipe that smile off your face and laugh Girl You think it's easy now and everyone should lay down for you With your hair pulled back and your long eyelashes And your perfect smile 'til it all come crashes back Down on you You thought you had him You thought you were everything that he could want Or you could ever hope to be You thought you found love... my love Let me tell you girl he's all grown up now After all these years he knows what he wants Now.... Girl Why are you crying? It's not your fault That everything is falling down No need to mess up that pretty face Sooner or later the truth was bound to come out Go join your girlfriends They're cackling in circles like vultures Swooping in for their prey There will be other boys and other toys To occupy your time And give your life more rhyme Needy Constant reassurance / You say that I need Constant assurance / You say that I want Constant assurance / Why can't I just let it be Continual affection/ I'm asking you for Non-stop affection / No one can give Constant affection / Why can't I just let it be When I was alone I was more peaceful I know At least I valued my own self Since the day I met you I've had to beg to be near you I've had to beg to be near you Constant reassurance / You say that I need Constant assurance / You say that I want Constant assurance / Why can't I just let it be Continual affection/ I'm asking you for Non-stop affection / No one can give Constant affection / Why can't I just let it be You never needed me this way You are so strong and so complete I stand outside your line of sight You cannot feel the things that slight Embrace your mind and all your ways Or hit the door and don't look back Your fate is sewn and stitched complete Embrace it babe or hit the street Reality rushes my mind I never dreamed this is what I'd find That I'd be so needy it makes me sick I am so needy it makes me sick (And you look at me and you say I feel so guilty and I say I feel so needy and I say It's hard not to need you in this way You look at me with those eyes And say how can you be surprised And I cleave to you and say Please don't leave me in this way) It's not such a bad thing to need you It's not such a bad thing to want you It's not such a bad thing to need you It's not such a bad thing to love you You are so needy it makes me sick You are so needy it makes me sick White Suit Afternoon Well you walked into the room It was a tan-face, white suit afternoon And though everything within me said to turn and run... I couldn't help but stay and come undone You looked so good to me I couldn't help but almost be set free And when you looked at me and smiled With those big brown eyes It was all I could do to not be swept away Oh those days when we were young And we gave each other shelter from the sun And though everything within me seems To burst from inside All those fears come rushing back to me I told you once before I couldn't help myself anymore And if I ever saw you walk back into this place again I couldn't promise what I wouldn't do or what I wouldn't say And though everything you said and done hurt me bad I couldn't help but remember all those things that we had And if I had the chance, if I had the chance To do it all again my friend I'd be tempted to say... hey, what's the plan It was a white suit afternoon When we left so I could take you back home And when my neighbor stopped to talk to me And ask my why I told him I don't know and I don't care Cause I just want to stop these eyes from crying So I turned around with my car keys And you had gone, you had vanished And you were no where to be seen I said has anyone see them, the love of my life And they said yes, they just got into someone's car And took a ride And they said yes, they just got into someone's car And took a ride So I tell you all my friends It's not worth it, to hold out 'till the end And though everything within you will rail Against that idea I'm here to tell you not to do it It's not worth it Don't you even think about it... Let go, let go of the hold you've got on me Let go, let go of the pain All I wanted in my whole damn life Was to be free And now I've got that And now I've got that And now I've got to make it happen for me Emotions in the Room (Based on a poem by D.J.H.) I close my eyes at night Long after the sun is out of sight And dream of you laying beside me With your eyes closed It's your dreams that you see Unlocking all my secrets and holding me close Knowing it's you that I need the most Take me to the place that we know so well Your intimate desires I promise not to tell I promise not to tell Show me things I've never seen before Call all my emotions in the room and close the door Let me love you more than words can say Long into the night until the break of day I have fears that are deeper than the ocean But you can sweep them all away With you words of emotion Help me hold the lantern up high So we can find our way I pray that you will find the strength The strength to hear the words I say I may not know what's in store for us ahead Just listen to my heart, not to the words I've said With you in my life I see as never before And look into the future with desire to learn more Desire to learn more Show me things I've never seen before Call all my emotions in the room and close the door Let me love you more than words can say Long into the night until the break of day I have fears that are deeper than the ocean But you can sweep them all away With you words of emotion Help me hold the lantern up high So we can find our way I pray that you will find the strength The strength to hear the words I say Flesh and Blood So you're lonely And the days are short And the nights are long Can you survive What are you up against Is this the part where you put up the fence To keep me out And hold yourself in But is it falling down Falling down again And could it be that this is all a dream And though you try to wake The morning comes the same Could this be all that you're made of Flesh and blood, and not much more of Can't you see how this could all turn out If you start trusting me Releasing all your doubt So you say... I'm under pressure now Like you would not believe Unable to climb out It's like a hurricane washing over me Emotions that I feel And visions that I see And could this be All that we're made of Flesh and blood And not much more of Flesh and blood And not much more of Beautiful People We are surrounded by beautiful people And they're languishing on pedestals impossible to obtain Their sighs of indifference mix well with their own laughter So we pause at our reflection And we think what a shame And we wonder who's to blame There was a day when my soul was pure and clean And Mother Nature smiled at me And I was happy, happy to be free And there was a day when everything was good to see Just like the fruit that was good to eat And now I've seen the truth is really ugly We are surrounded by beautiful people And they're languishing on pedestals impossible to obtain Their sighs of indifference mix well with their own laughter So we pause at our reflection And we think what a shame And we wonder who's to blame You know I blame my mother Cause she raised me this way and she dressed me this way You know I blame my father Cause he gave me those genes now I can wear those jeans Is that the final slap And now I spend my afternoons shopping trendier boutiques Buying clothes I won't wear for weeks Impressing people I know, I know are geeks And I cannot help but think about how clever it all is And how that's just the way it is And how I'm withering in spite of this We are surrounded by beautiful people And they're languishing on pedestals impossible to obtain Their sighs of indifference mix well with their own laughter So we pause at our reflection And we think what a shame And we wonder who's to blame Require These are the things that I want These are the things I require It scares me to even speak words Or whisper my needs or even believe I'm fragile so handle with care Tread softly, my heart is bare Stop me from shaking Keep bad thoughts from staking Their claim inside my head Kiss those fears away These are the days of desire / are the days of the fire / are the days of rebirth These are the dreams of a coward / someone without power / but your love is a shower / quenching my thirst Kiss those fears away These are the things that I want These are the things I require Good morning, sweet dreams How was you day? Seems I'll never hear them enough Kiss those fears away Honest So you say you have to be honest An oddity today I say But this time you're being serious (serious) And cold shivers go up my spine Anticipating what you'll say You say you don't want to lead me on You're not looking for a love that last Maybe just a lot of sex Keep things simple, not complex And you can fit me in now and then And we'll part great friends in the end And I'm too insecure to say good-bye I could stand up for myself But instead I think I'll cry And you won't even have the time to wonder why So at first it's just a game And I grab those precious moments When we whisper quiet things in the dark And your eyes that stare in mine I hold this to my heart Sex is sex and I can keep up with the rest And somehow you feel sustained While inside I'm slowly drained And give myself to you With nothing in return But the pain and the loneliness that I've earned I'm sorry now for being me I'll go back to being who you want me to be And I'll forget who I am I trusted you what a sorry cliché' And I let myself love you I put my heart in your hands But it wasn't my heart you wanted It wasn't my heart you wanted And even everything else failed to satisfy I wish I were strong I wish that I could tell you no I wish I could do anything But stand here and take it Like shockwaves to my heart And even my flesh and blood failed to satisfy Did you know I'm intelligent Do you know what books I read Did you know I'm a writer Do you know I write down everything Did you know that I'm a dreamer And sometimes dreams wash the pain away Did you know I love you Do you know I'm too afraid to say Sticky Because you make me laugh I guess that's why I put up with all of your distancing Swallowing my pride Is like swallowing Listerine You roll your eyes As you are giggling What color are your eyes I have trouble remembering I'm too distracted to be distinguishing Come closer still There, I can smell your hair Smells like sweet strawberries I can almost pick them from here Running my hands through The roughened texture Sticky still with hairspray But I don't mind Sticky still with hairspray But I don't mind I'm too self-conscious And I'm too nervous Butterflies are buzzing Or are those honey bees Making love to me As they gently swarm Making fun of me Some Place to Come Inside (For my father) When you finally found your plan It's not so easy to withstand All those slings and arrows can Really bring you down You need a peaceful place you see A place of playful revelry And though mine's not that much to see It's hallowed ground to me It's a quiet place when the rain comes And the thunder bangs its bass drum You know only that you need some... Some place to come inside When you're just a simple man And you've built your master plan No one else will understand Happiness is in their own hands It's a peaceful place you see A place of playful revelry And though it's not that much to see It's hallowed ground to me It's a quiet place when the rain comes And the thunder bangs its bass drum We know only that we need some... Some place to come inside It's a quiet place when the rain comes And the thunder bangs its bass drum We know only that we need some... Some place to come inside

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