| 15 Songs on an Electric Piano Christopher Wynn Recorded 1994 |
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My first time in a recording studio was incredibly daunting. I was so nervous that I had to repeatedly wipe the sweat off my hands so I could play the keyboard. The whole experience was like being in a hospital. I was sealed off in a small room behind a wall of glass that was dripping with power cords and microphones instead of life support. Writing music has been a form of life support for me. Making the decision to record some of the songs I had accumulated over the years was both exhilarating and frightening. I'm a one-man show. I write, sing and play all the songs, therefore I get all the credit and all the blame. There is an undeniable power, however, in sharing some of your deepest emotions with an audience. There's also an undeniable healing that occurs. The best feeling I've had when sharing my music with someone is to hear them say, yes... I've felt that. I know exactly what you are saying. Connection. These songs span a wide range of time in their creation. I wrote Circus Boy when I was thirteen. In A Place seeped out the morning of this recording session. I actually completed that song while recording it, in fact. I think In A Place best summarizes where I was at that moment in my life and what motivated my decision to lay this all on tape. This collection for me evokes a feeling of innocence and vulnerability that we only truly have once in life before "growing up." In many ways, I think that's what gives the work its power. So, here's to never growing up. Christopher Wynn 1994 |
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I Summer Swoon Hiding Devotion Not So Different Anyone Wash Over Me How Can You Keep Going On We Wouldn't Be Long Away Words Like Shadows Part II Faith If He Were You Circus Boy An Awakening In A Place Summer It's summer and I'm alone In my backyard where the sun is warm Is this all there is Is this all for me Lazy day, it's sweltering As I lean back in my tire swing And life rushes past And leaves me in it's wake Is this all there is Did I stay out too late The dark comes and you call me home I turn to you, I start to run But then one look back And I have to pause... To see the fireflies That glow like embers If it's all the same I'll choose to remember Cause growing old makes you forget To watch the fireflies That streak like lightning Place them inside jars Until you feel guilty And then let them go... To live again Swoon I can't help but to ascribe the pleasure I receive To spending time with you and your thoughtful company With words of intellect, and of flattery, and wit That swoon inside my head 'til finding time to sit The sweetness of your voice and kindness of your tone Entice my ears to listen, claiming your words for my own And oh the craving I endure for the deepness of your eyes A swan that floats in their reflection beneath the surface and the sky Hiding So I'm hiding, and so you found me And it's more than words can really say So I'm afraid to be alone And I'm frightened of the dark And the feelings it can bring Carried with the weight of words The message that has been reserved Is spilling over... Cause you found my hiding place And you've seen my crying face And you know I hate to be alone So here it is you found me And oh did you ever find me I'm so ashamed to say these things (So ashamed to say these things) So afraid of what you'll think So afraid of what you'll say But you've touched me in some way Take the secrets I confide Take away my need to hide I never dreamed it could be this way Take the secrets I confide Take away my need to hide I never dreamed it could be this way So I was hiding, and so you found me It's more than words could ever say Devotion It seems so silly to have to say this It's something I thought you understood (But assumptions make you blind) I have these notions about a word called devotion And how you cherish what you love It seems your comprehension's straining Is there any sense I'm making (I'm almost scared to ask) It's not much to expect, to ask for your respect And retain my value in your eyes So take to heart the words I'm speaking And don't forget from whom they came (They'll linger in your dreams) Not possible to measure the worth of our endeavor We're richer than anyone can see Not So Different Well I lay down this evening See the man in the moon rise He's sad but his glow remains And we're not so different As much as we're the same Well the thoughts in my mind race The words in my mouth chase Emotions from the back of my brain And we're not so different As much as we're the same We're not so different That you and I can't compare And it's not so difficult To admit that what we both feel is real And how much it hurts And how sometimes it breaks us down Well I woke up this morning to terrible sunshine Exposing me for what I am And we're not so different Because at times we're all too tired to stand We're not so different That you and I can't compare And it's not so difficult To admit that what we both feel is real And how much it hurts And how sometimes it breaks us down Anyone Are your eyes too blind to see Or is the light too dim to reflect me Your floating up as you bring me down The mirror cracked into lines that frown And we're all the talk all around the town And it's all anyone can see I think my thoughts in secrecy Are your ears too deaf to hear It sounds like someone is dancing near Can't hear my screams cause they're wrapped in cotton I stretch my legs in the grass forgotten And I'm afraid I'm the one who strayed And it's all anyone can hear My screams are songs sung to deaf ears Is it more than your mind can know Someone was here but they had to go I like tea with cream, but I'll drink it straight I strain to speak then I hesitate And then you turn away and it's too late (too late) And it's all anyone can know I live in fear of the ones I love And it's all anyone can say... I can't understand why he acts that way Wash Over Me Poetry and all the words that give it sheen Can't explain away emotions that I've seen In your eyes... The power they did bring immobilizes me Swept away inside the purest imagery A life that's ruled by us Engage the possibilities What I've found is with you loving me I'm invincible Touch to see if it's reality And if it breaks it cuts deep and leaves you to bleed Let it all wash over me Hold my hand and for days and days I'll dream The most alluring threads Sewn into an exquisite seam Although I'm speechless my heart will still sing Songs about you Touch to see if it's reality And if it breaks it cuts deep and leaves you to bleed Let it all wash over me Let it all wash over me How Can You Keep Going On How can you keep going on? Living out every day like nothing has gone on And you're not even shaken up You're picture perfect and dressed to kill Cause you're on top How can you look me in the eye And never even blink or twitch Or betray the lie It's just another job to you It's just something that you've been Given over to And nobody has to know What's been creeping through your mind And how you really feel inside There's not even a crack in your facade Or tremble in your voice to speak of How much longer can you keep your guard up (For years and years I bet) Why don't you let down your hair And tell me what has transpired to Leave you shivering and scared Why can't you just turn it loose Free your thoughts, speak your words Declare the truce I'm not the judge, you're not on trial Criticism never was my style I'm waiting for the day you reach out to me and smile We Wouldn't Be Long Away We wouldn't be long away he said A difficult thing to say for dread That so simple a venture could end you see In surprising adventure and ecstasy Replace contemplation or eager surmise With curious notions and wondering eyes Stray far from the path we chose carefully Enduring the wrath of our inmost decree Cheerful discovery of our secretest self Hesitant smiles seep sweet inner health I sense it's serenity that has found me at last Made known by the beauty of the things its amassed Gaze thoughtfully on me a glint in the sun That glistens towards heaven and in flashes is gone I know only a journey that took me aside From the place others travel and commonly hide A distant distraction and a promise to obey We wouldn't be, wouldn't be long away Words Like Shadows I close my eyes and you are there The way you used to be there Beneath the surface... Words like shadows left to haunt my mind Remember the days when we were young and fair And life, it wanted us here You'd smile at me and laugh You'd say I think I better take you home And I'd say... How can anyone so beautiful really love me How can anyone so committed even dare to break that And all I remember is you were quiet And all I remember is you were quiet And all I could do was stand there crying I knew I couldn't let this life Slip by me, wondering, if you could ever love me I took my chances, got what I deserved Then I realized you were as hurt as I And wondering why We'd let our passion for it die I've never held anyone so tight And you'd say... How can anyone so beautiful really love me How can anyone so committed even dare to break that And all I could do was stand there crying And all I could do was stand there crying Is this what happens when you give up trying? Faith Got my two feet planted On solid ground granted Continental drift is always In motion, they say But who are they to tell me And where are they to bail me out When I get too deep in promises I cannot keep again Don't say that I have no faith at all It's just that things that others say Are based on facts they really can't recall So if I tell you the story You'll take all the glory For having thought it all up Another coin that drops in your cup I can't believe how I was weak I played the part silent and meek Hoping all the while you'd notice me And see what we could become Don't say that I have no faith at all It's just that things that others say Are based on facts they really can't recall If He Were You If he were you and you were he What a strange and awkward place to be To see yourselves as others see And know the better place to be To know each word and tear and thought And know from where it came and what Had formed the very seed of thought And made each man a better man And what he is today And why he sees the way he sees And tells the secrets that he hides To light the lamp that burns the fire That grows the flame behind his eyes I'd know just where each reason lies If I could see behind his eyes I'd know just where to start to end And know just how each word does lend Power to the portrait of the other one outside And why it sees the way it sees And tells the secrets that it hides If he were you and you were he I'd chance that better men you'd be For having seen as others see The thoughts that lay in secrecy Circus Boy I was just a circus boy With dreams and aspirations Hoping to find a little of what was mine Only ten when I joined the circus With big dreams like all the rest of us Hoping to have a little of what was mine Sweet summer days when I was young Working beneath the fiery sun The sweat of my labor burning inside of my eyes On the day my brother told me good-bye I put on his suit and began to cry Planting fake flowers on top Of his sunny grave Can't see where I've begun Can't rest until I'm done Colored balloons and juggling by day Traveling down and endless highway The dust of the east has settled inside of our lungs The children would come, watch us set up our tents No earthly idea how our nights were spent Believing in all that they saw and all that we gave Can't see where I've begun Can't rest until I'm done Young boy the lonely one Lay down beneath the sun I was just a circus boy With dreams and aspirations Hoping to find a little of what was mine Only ten when I joined the circus With big dreams like all the rest of us Hoping to have a little of what was mine An Awakening Shook the leaves and woke the dead Stirred the moon from what he read He rubbed his blurry eyes as fresh from rest Around my head Around my eyes Circle me and brush my check Tilt the earth to take a peek Fingers touch the sky and leave me weak Around my head Around my eyes And makes me dizzy and high Felt upon my skin the breeze of summer Cool night wind of mercy It lifts my hopes so they can fly Around my head Around my eyes And makes me dizzy and high In A Place It's the things that you say without saying a thing And the finger you point without placing the blame And it's the very same thing almost every day Who would dream that I could feel this way To think I've come all this way To stand inside yesterday When I felt these things And I promised that I would be good And not raise my voice Or be proud or be heard Or cower down or resurge And could I be in such familiar territory It's the way that you rage without raising your voice And the options you give without giving a choice If I weren't in your power I might find I'd rejoice And finally offer time to myself To find out who I am without locking me out And God says in your weakness, I am made strong And if I could reach back in time I'd find myself steering cautiously clear Of the place that I've spent all my life In a place of living, waking fear |